you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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