Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
