what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
