I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
