Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
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Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
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It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize