I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
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she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
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Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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