you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
