i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
