Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
