So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
