All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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