Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
