I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
