Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
