I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
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his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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