He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
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good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
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Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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