FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
