he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
