the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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