There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
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Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
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Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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