where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
