The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
smell my finger.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
