I cannot find my penis.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Say something about gay babies.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
