In America we eat man semen.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
