Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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