he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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