Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
