...so i touched it.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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