you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
