O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
