guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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