New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
