big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
