that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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