i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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