her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she smelled like a LAN party
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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