So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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