one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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