I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
