She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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