just come out here and I will go home with you...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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