that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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