And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
