Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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