Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
