Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
