Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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