What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
