Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
