I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've blown a few things in my day
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
