I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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