there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
