I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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