It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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