Dual....:-)
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
