i may or may not be watching the land before time
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
