Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Bring me that man meat
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize