Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
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are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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