then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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