my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
