Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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