4 words: hood of his car
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
