I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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