is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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